Royal Fashion Awards: Trooping the Colour 2011

I was right, y'all. Beatrice didn't even show up to Trooping the Colour, so the parade today was all Kate, all the time. And she sure did give us something to discuss, and we will do that, but we will also give everybody else some much-needed attention. It's the least we can do, right? Per usual, our attention will be in the form of awards. Everybody loves a trophy.

Best Birthday Girl Prerogative
Queen Elizabeth
Another repeat, kind of boring...but she's the (official) birthday girl. When you're in charge, you can wear whatever you please. And it is one of her better repeats, so I shan't be picky. (Well, I'll save my picks for others, at least...)

Biggest Omission
The Duchess of Cambridge
Omission number one: Kate, you forgot the candy that's supposed to go in that dish on your head. How 'bout some nice M&Ms? Perfect for that mid-parade "oh hell, more bagpipes" energy dip, plus a little extra color never hurt ya. Omission number two: What's a fierce McQueen coat without a proper riding crop? Giddyup!

Most Disturbing Genetic Sign
Princess Eugenie
You know who else has a tendency to stick superfluous bows on things? Sarah Ferguson. (And Princess Mabel. And Hello Kitty. Not exactly esteemed company.) Fight the genetic urge, Eug, fight hard! Because that jacket is kinda cute, you really could've had something here!

Most Acceptable Repeat
The Duchess of Cornwall
How many times have we seen this ensemble and it's various iterations on Cams? Approximately 8,698, I'd say. The only reason I'll give her the nod here is that she wore that choker - gah! I love that thing. She can wear that to as many Troopings in a row as she likes, as far as I'm concerned.

Best Dynamic Duo
The Countess of Wessex and Lady Louise Mountbatten-Windsor
Adorable, these two, in their matching pink outfits. Adorable and a wee bit saucy, I might add - that's a lot of Countess shoulder! (How prudish do I sound?! It's just not what you're expecting to be in for at the military parade, is all. It's sort of like when Anne's cleavage just came out of nowhere, right in your face, that one time. Or, not really.)

Best in Uniform
The Princess Royal
Left to Right: the Duke of Edinburgh, the Prince of Wales, the Duke of Cambridge, Prince Harry, the Princess Royal, the Earl of Wessex, the Duke of Kent
If it's color you long for, to the military you must turn. And today's toy soldiers made an excellent display. Which one to pick as best? Philip's always a good choice - come on, he's rocking the bearskin hat at 90. And the Duke of Kent is rocking the bearskin hat while on a horse, at 75. William and Harry hold down the under 30 fort nicely, but I have to give this one to Princess Anne. Any gal that can roll with the boys while absolutely owning a hat that culminates in a feather to the skies deserves all the prizes she can rack up.


Now, there are two types of Trooping the Colour people, really: the carriage people and the balcony people. The carriage people get to ride all fancy, and get their picture taken a lot, and get their names spelled right in the photo captions and things like that. Those people are above. The balcony people cram on at Buck House, fearful the facade might give way from all the Windsors on board, are at the mercy of long-range lens, and usually get identified as "royal family members". There's not much to look at when it comes to the balcony people. Luckily, judging on little information is a specialty of mine, and so we will forge ahead:

Best on the Balcony
Lady Frederick Windsor
 L to R: The Duchess of Gloucester, Princess Alexandra, Lady Nicholas Windsor, Julia Ogilvy (and I believe the Countess of Ulster peeking over her shoulder), Viscountess Linley (with Lady Rose Gilman peeking out from behind), Lady Frederick Windsor, the Duchess of Kent, the Countess of St. Andrews
It's a shame they don't pay more attention to these ladies: some of them really turned it out! Princess Alexandra did her usual thing, but hey - she can do what she wants. That's got to be Roland Mouret on Serena Linley, which I LOVE, but you're not getting anywhere with that ever-so-ebullient expression. The Duchess of Kent and her daughter-in-law the Countess look ladylike as can be, but I'm giving this one to Lady Frederick, a.k.a. Sophie Winkleman. You gotta love that she turned it this far out (that has to be a new hat, probably a new suit) for such a quick appearance (and her first Trooping the Colour, too). She flew in from Los Angeles for this shindig, she deserves a prize.
UPDATES: I have added the Duchess of Gloucester, in a lovely repeat, Lady Nicholas Windsor and Julia Ogilvy - both wearing repeated hats (Lady Nicholas from Garter Day last year, Julia from the Cambridges' wedding). Excellent appearances, all!

Worst on the Balcony
Lady Helen Taylor
 L to R: Princess Michael of Kent, Lady Helen Taylor, Lady Amelia Windsor, Flora Ogilvy (possibly, thanks to Nora)
What in Canadian fashion hell is happening to Lady Helen?! Girl, Erdem has done you WRONG. (And just when I was wondering if Kate would take a look at his stuff for the Canada trip, the nerve.) I put it on the batty radar when we saw it with the matching coat at the royal wedding, but now that I've seen the dress underneath, I'm prepared to commit it to the mental ward. And yeesh, that inside-out/upside-down paper umbrella on her head isn't helping. Everything else pales in comparison, like Amelia's bit of fluff on her head, and that mystery lady's Flora's shapeless outfit (somebody, please, tell me who that is for sure!). And Princess Michael definitely looks out of place next to Helen, since she's only in this category for being stuck in a Trooping rut anyway.

Who makes your best- and worst-dressed for this year's Trooping the Colour?

(And if you see more royals, or better pics, let me know!)

Photos: Ken Goff/Isopix/Reuters/Daylife/Getty Images/Mark Stewart/Camera Press/Tim Rooke/Rex Features/PPE/Nieboer